Entry: Good days... Thursday, October 13, 2005

So it's been a good couple of days for me! First, I was off on monday and I drove out to the mall. My contacts only cost me $58--which is great considering I was in contacts that used to cost $229.  Also, a few weeks ago I tried on a dress at Dillards that I loved. It was $60 but I decided not to get it because I had already bought a lot of stuff. Well I decided to see if it was on sale yet--and lo and behold--75% off with an additional 40% off of that! I got the dress, and another I liked, for 8 bucks apeice! Then I got my shampoo and conditioner (Matrix Sleek Look) buy two, get one free. So I got two shampoos, because I go thru shampoo really fast. I also got 2 new movies--Almost Famous and Vanilla Sky. Best Buy had them on sale :). After that, I get home and my new playstation, DDR Konamix game and 2 DDR pads had arrived! I was so stoked, I couldn't wait to play. I took them over to mal's to play with her but we couldn't get them hooked up properly. She has too many chords and cables hooked up to her TV.

Last sunday, Pastor Rod and Mary (the Ragin' Cajuns) were visiting from Baton Rouge. There was another couple with them, pastors of some sort, that lost everything in Hurricane Katrina. After service, the man came up to me and said, "I was watching you earlier, and the Lord spoke to me about you. He said that you went through a very hard time when you were sixteen. You were lost and afraid. But God wanted me to tell you that he was with you the whole time. He never left you." He said some other stuff, but I can't remember all of it. I just started crying because I did go through a very hard time when I was sixteen--I mean, what sixteen year old doesnt--but that's when I became very very depressed. People don't understand that depression is so much more than being sad. It's anxiety, fear, uncontrollable anger. I withdrew from my friends, I quit cheerleading, I quit tennis. I didn't know what I believed about anything--God, life, friends, relationships--especially God. And all sunday morning I was thinking about how I wanted to get off of my anti-depressants, and how I had been putting it off because I was scared of being without them--the withdrawl effects are awful, and what if I reverted back after I stopped taking the medication? I had been thinking this stuff all morning, and then that man came up and told me that. It really just reaffirmed that I don't have to be afraid, and I am going to come off these pills without any side effects or withdrawl, and I will continue to be joyous, not because of a selective serotonin/nonepinephrine reuptake inhibitor, but because God has given me peace, and the joy of the Lord will be my strength!


October 17, 2005   08:36 AM PDT
hey! that's really incredible what he said to you, I'm sure that was amazing to hear!

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